Thursday, February 12, 2009

A BETTER Stimulus Idea...

Before I get to the actual blog topic, let me share: Nadya Suleman's PR team announced that she's been receiving death threats. Wait...she has a PR TEAM?! WHO'S PAYING FOR THAT?!

So, stimulus. Here's a few ideas...I haven't fully weighed out the practicality of them, but I think they're interesting.

1) What about offering tax incentives to companies who employ 100% Americans? Good for our job market and our sanity (Indian call centers no more!).

2) Instead of stimulus CHECKS which can go right into the bank or to buy drugs or get paypaled to that heinous bitch, Nadya Suleman...why not stimulus GIFT CARDS? The cards could be valid at a variety of AMERICAN stores, stimulating consumer spending at companies that employ Americans.

3) Rent out Giants Stadium and sell overpriced (think Streisand concert prices) tickets to the execution of Bernie Madoff. Full house, guaranteed.

4) Tax churches/synagogues/mosques...any "religious" (quotes to include cults that may have somehow been designated as such) organization. Let them right off charity work the same way citizens and businesses do, but TAX them.

5) Legalize marijuana and prostitution and tax them. Morals morals morals...shut up. When your kids can't afford to go to college, guess what will be left for them to do...pot and let's get some money in the economy and fund education.

Anyone got more before I send these to Obama's email address?


TheGreenMan said...

Okay, amendment to #3...maybe we have multiple torture events to fill Giants Stadium 6 or 7 times? Oh wait, we don't condone torture now. Damn you Democrats!!!

Colin Ryan said...

My $0.02, point by point:

1) I'm going to assume that when you say "100% Americans" you mean U.S. Citizens and non-citizens in possession of legal documentation. This would be a stimulus bill beloved by the Republicans, as it would reach a very, very small number of companies.

2) My problem with the idea Gift Cards is: will they be used to pay for Health Care, Mortgages etc.? Or, if people cannot pay down debt or save the money, will they be encouraged to spend it on what the esteemed economic thinker Tyler Durden called "shit we don't need". I think too much of our economy being based on permanent debt and the purchase of frivolous consumer goods is a large part of what has gotten us where we are.

3) I know this one is a joke, but suffice to say we have different ideas about whether or not capital punishment should be legal.

4) This, I complete agree with. although it is "write-off". :)

5) I am at least half in agreement with this. Marijuana should be legal and taxed (by the way, this would almost assuredly make it harder for minors to come by). Prostitution, I am torn on. I can see the benefits of legalization, especially in areas of regulation and safety. I see how pro regulation and safety is in other legal professions, and can all too easily foresee sex worker exploitation continuing while legal. I remain undecided on the issue, which is probably ok, and i a have as much chance of ever voting to decide it as I have of being eaten by a Pterodactyl. I have no desire to move to Nevada, thanks. So in sum on this one, I am 75% in agreement with you.