Thursday, March 6, 2008

A Real American Hero...

I have reached a point in life where the announcement of a ridiculous remake or silly spin-off doesn't phase me. Making a live action Transformers? Whatevs. Cleveland getting his own Family Guy spin-off? Sure, great, fine. Justice League live action movie? Did you guys SEE THIS? I bet you can't improve on that too much, but what the hell. Now, making a movie out of one of my favorite childhood toys and comics, GI Joe? Okay, cool, lame, whatevs.....hang on a sec. When I think back, GI Joe in 1980 was fun...there was little actual killing, particularly of main characters. The bad guys were bad, but in a slightly Snidely Whiplash way, more so in the TV series than the comics. But the basis of these characters is really intense. Cobra is a terrorist organization. TERRORIST. The word has a different meaning now than it did back in my youth. These are homegrown terrorists with ENORMOUS financial resources who attack their own country. Heavy shit. Is this GI Joe movie for kids? It really can't be. But will adults sit through a war movie with characters such as Dr. Mindbender (so demented, he doesn't wear a shirt!), Shipwreck (wasn't he in the Village People?) , Cutter (who looks like your uncle who wants your 4 year old to sit on his lap a lot), and Recondo (who appears to have just stumbled out of British occupied Africa circa 1923)? GI Joe seems lost between deathly serious and utterly ridiculous. So how can you make a movie? According to Hasbro's (who clearly has no interest in the success or franchise potential of this film) recent MTV interview "I don't think you'd see this movie as wacky, I think you're going to see this movie as being inspirational for younger kids and totally in the sweet spot for the guys who grew up on G.I. Joe." Well, okay Hasbro, but I'm not convinced. AND, I don't think war toys are not what we need to market to kids right now. If it's something like Power Rangers, which are utterly ludicrous and unrealistic, fine, but an elite fighting force taking out terrorists...too close to home. You will either trivialize our current crises or assasinate our intelligence. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

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