Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Neverending Story...

JK Rowling has a bazillion dollars. I believe that is literal and accurate. Harry Potter has made more money than Jesus. And you know what...it ain't that great a book! Sure, they are better than DaVinci Code and Sweet Valley High, and YES, I have read them all, but seriously...I never understood what all the fuss was about. Dumbledore is oddly ineffectual and could probably just kill all the bad crap and end the damn story in Book 1, but noooooooo that would be too easy. And how bout when they have those silly, contrived riddles and loopholes that end storylines in bewilderingly succint ways. I can't really provide tons of examples cause I don't retain this trifly shit well, but there was that one book where Harry and Dumbledore are in a cave and Dumbledore has to drink some liquid for some inane reason. I think it was in Book 6. It was real real lame and silly. Anyway, fine, it made kids read, that's swell, here's a godjillion dollars, JK, now go invest in something (I recommend a Pinkberry rip off chain).

Anyway, JK is suing STEVE who wrote THIS website and has turned it into a 400 page HP encyclopedia which is being published, but held from the shelves by a court injunction. I think I support the Steve guy, but I thought I'd hash it out here for you, faithful readers.

My thoughts are thus...

Pro-400pageencyclopediaofweblexicon: If someone loves Harry SOOOOO much that he made that nutty website which looks like it was actually made by THIS GUY, let him earn a little cash from it. Do a little settlement thing where 1/2 the profits go to JK or maybe a charity of JK's choice (United Negro Wizard College Fund? Actually, on second thought, the only black student is that kid in the movie who announces the quidditch games and he's real annoying, so maybe the fund is unnecessary. Hang on a sec, why is there only one black wizard? JK is racist! RAY-CIST!). Anyway, the guy did a lot of work...throw him a table scrap; he's a librarian...they don't make a lot of money. Plus, seriously, one can read the thing on the web for free OR can EXCHANGE HARD EARNED CASH FOR THE BOOK...free...exchange hard earned cash...free...exchange hard earned cash... Steve deserves to take money from people dumb enough to spend it on something they can get for free. Seriously...would you go buy an Encyclopedia Britannica today? Not unless you are dumb. Cause Wikipedia is FREE! (the fact that Wikipedia has a self referential entry is awesome) Also, the guy is not using the characters to create fiction or change the story...he is making something to support her books. If someone makes a set of Harry Potter stickers, sunglasses, g-strings, whatever...JK gets a check. Same deal...ya? So she wants to write her own encyclopedia of Harry...great, do it...the same fuggazi-nutbags who buy this one will buy yours too.

Con-400pageencyclopediaofweblexicon: JK Rowling created all the characters in the HP universe, so someone else profiting off them does seem a bit fishy. And according to JK's website,
there were "direct appeals for a reasonable solution." So maybe Steve, the librarian/Harry Potter not is a douchebag. Never met him. JK DOES praise the Lexicon website though, and did so before the book was announced...it seems she's really only objecting to the guy making money of her shiz. So okay, I see her point. Plus, as you can probably tell from my earlier comments, I don't think Harry Potter is as much the bee's knees as everyone else. Book 7 was like 400 pages of the most boring camping trip EVER with some okay story on either end, so I harbor resentment that someone gets a bazillion dollars for that which makes my views unfair. I think they should find some sort of happy medium where everyone gets money and then they can all wipe their tushes with hundred pound notes while the rest of us sell HJ's on the corner of Sepulveda and National (outside Gualguetza, 10pm-2am, $15/pop). And everyone goes home happy.

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