Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Trouble With Helicopters

I used to think helicopters were cool. But now I hate them. Today a helicopter hovered over my bedroom from 5:45am to 6:30am and then promptly sped off when my alarm sounded. Why, you may wonder, is a helicopter hovering over my bedroom...is the CIA spying on me...AGAIN?! Nope. You see, there was an accident on the 405, undoubtedly a bad one that snarled traffic, but nonetheless, do we REALLY need traffic helicopters out at 5:45am to capture indecipherable footage of brake lights on the freeway? I turned on the news and there they were. Still dark out...couldn't tell WHERE they were if Jane Monreal hadn't told me, but thank god Channel 7 was on he scene to wake me (and undoubtedly most of my apartment complex) up 45 minutes early so we could catch these amazing images. When they start offering a Pulitzer for assholes, I nominate Channel 7's helicopter. And on a more serious note, I will be adding "installing reasonable traffic helicopter hours of operation" to my list of public works projects. It joins "not allowing construction in a residential area to begin before 8:30am" and "restricting trash pickup hours." Have you noticed the trend? Los Angeles not allowing me to sleep. Maybe that's why so many people seem to be socially retarded out here...they need more sleep. Think about it. And vote for me for LA Public Works Commissioner.

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